Top 5 reasons to Hate my Laptop...

Its a Birthday, today! No no, not mine... Not even my blog's... and no not my Little sister's either....

But it's three years since i brought my Laptop(LT) and its the one celebrating its birthday... my snobbish condescending LT... while everyone goes ga-ga over their PC's and Laptop's, i plainly hate mine...


5. The Hard disk - 40 GB.. come one, even a pre-KG kid needs atleast 100 GB  to work with.. with so so many software to be installed, so many Games to be played and so so many Favourite movies to be stored and watched... 40 GB is not just enough..


4. Obsoleteness - i took my lofty piece to a Laptop service centre the other day... i wanted the RAM to be upgraded... you can sense my embarrassment when the he said "Medam,  This is a DDR 1 model.. its very old... they dont even make these anymore.." ummm yeah rite.. *its a different story that i didn't understand wht he was trying to say...* i just took back my LT


3. i dont know why this happens to me... this sluttish Keyboard gets hung up every 15 mins.. and esp. the Shift... lord knows wat's the problem.. it gets stuck and SUDDENLY EVERY THING IS IN CAPS!!!! UGh oh...


2. My model is that bulky thing with a internal fan and everything.. so it's not exactly a LAPtop... just try to keep it on your lap for 10 continuous minutes, and you 'll be running off with scalded thighs... Ouch!!!


1. And someone was right when he said Laptop are People too.. i tell u, my LT has a mind of its own, seriously! just try to leave my LT on its one for a couple of weeks without turning it on or using it, *sheesh! that sound so naughty* and it 'll invite you with a high pitched ear drum tearing sound when you turn it on next time.....


So, you say... don't you hate my LT too... but Poor me, i am STUCK with this insolent, haughty, audacious, conceited thingy...

Papa-i-hath-fever.. Shall i bunk the exams today????

i knew Iyerpaiyan had a great time in college... but little did i know that he was a real "model" student when it comes to exam... his devotion and love for exams can beat all the nerds and geeks :-P

that been said this funny Iyer has asked me to write a post abt my Exam Entries .... well ummm... funny moments while in school were in abundance... i would love to echo it here... but u should be a geek to understand them and you would be throwing Bricks and Bats at me, literally... but funny moments writing my exams are close to zilch...  so i sat in front of my lappy unblinking and raking my brain godown for something that could derive a hee haw out of Iyers mouth... :-) gee, i already sound like a geek...

i was a Hindi/French major all thru my Junior classes... though i am a Tamilian, i never had much practise with my language... it was a big surprise that i could talk in my mother tongue... Who am i kidding i still can't read or write properly in Tamil :-|.. but owing to my Papa's job, i had to shift schools for Higher Secondary... and alas the new school provided only Sanskrit and Tamil as language options... i chose Tamil..Thanks to Mom who threatened to disown me, if i failed to learn our Mother tongue.. it was a laugh riot at Tamil periods though... My teacher (Mr. Krishnan, i still regard you the best teacher ever) literally begged me to drop out of school as he had a clear record of no fails in his 10 years experience then.... even the day before the final exams, he was crying buckets and buckets asking our principal to disbar me from exams... so you can imagine his expression when i got a 185/200... forget his expressions, i was too shocked to talk for a whole day... :-D but till date i don't even know the complete alphabets of Tamil script... :-|

My Tenth standard exams were equally stunning.. if not the marks i got, then certainly the way i wrote the papers.... i hope by now you would have understood i am the crystal clear example of a Geek and proud being one... i was a student who used to learn the whole book thrice and revise it 15 times... But no.. i never tortured other students by asking how many time they read.. Only my close friends knew this, but they were equally geeks too :-P  So by average i took one hour to write a exam paper that may took 2.5 hours by others... it was a Zoology Paper i think... i was so conked up learning for the exam the previous nite and was really tired... i finished my paper in an hour and laid down my head for a couple of minutes... i woke up to my invigilator calling my name, in what i thought of about 2 mins... actually the time was up and the Invigilator was hollering for atleast good 10 minutes to hand him over my Answer sheet :-| sheesh talk about embarrassment.. i literally ran out of the hall...

and this happened during college... i always had this principle of never to cheat/copy or help others in cheating/copying... this created  a huge humdrum among my classmates... they tried to convince me to help people seated near me, but only in vain... once they understood i wont yield, they started take the mickey out of me by calling names and stuff... Once this friend of mine gifted me a Bar of Hamam soap... then he yelled "Nermayin Sikaram" (Height of Honesty) and walked off.. i just stood there stifling a laugh :-|

i know i know... Iyer uncle would by know hitting his head, thinking like-why-i-ever-asked-this-silly-Rat-to-write-something-like-this... but what will to do, Iyer-e.... This Rat is little Loose, nut loose.... :-D

Gullivers Girl or a Female Peter Pan....

When my sister was a kid, Dad got her a set of Fairy tale books... it had books about some bears, Cinderella, Sleeping beauty, Beauty and the Beast and Peter Pan among other things...seriously i don't remember much of that book set... because by then i had moved on to much serious books, given my second book that Dad got me was on Solar energy and Oceans.. First was a Mickey-Donald Comic digest...he he he i have a sharp memory when it comes to books..



Peter Pan was always my favourite character then... no, i never liked the part of Wendy and other Darling kids... i didn't even like the fighting part with Captain Cook or saving Princess Tiger Lily.. it was all too much drama to me... because when my sister was seriously reading Peter Pan and Wendy, i had my head buried into a thick copy of Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens....

i loved the part when Peter flies off to the island to live with other birds... i sat beside Peter by the branches at night when he tried to figure out why he could fly.... i tried to keep him warm and safe , when he used to slip of the branches trying to sleep like a bird...i wanted to help him when he builds a nice nest for a fellow island bird... and when he finally returned to his mother, just to find the windows barricaded and another kid on his place, i literally cried with him... i felt very bad for him....

compared to Peter in Peter Pan and Wendy, this Peter was not vain and full of himself..... he was never rude to the birds and always tried to help the fairies at the Kensington gardens... it was a struggle of a small being to figure why he was different... it was a painful being not able to return to the warmth of his mother....

Wait!!!!!! what am i talking??? this post was not supposed to be a literary review.... ugh oh.... :-D

the fact that i am going on blah blah yada yada about Peter Pan is that, it seems i have been heavily hit by..... ermm, any guesses.... Peter Pan syndrome... no, i can't fly though,yet.. but nevertheless the Peter Pan syndrome indeed....

No.. it is not a Medical disease either... but it seems i cant grow up or get older physically.... my height and weight remains the same for last, i think, 8 years..... my face remains the same, save for an occasional pimple or a scar( *courtesy to the clumsy-cluttering-cool-clutz head, me) and this is the way i am to stay... :-( :-D

i was used to getting comments like "Kids are not allowed" when i was in class 10 (i was taking a diploma course in the local Polytechnic then apart from regular studies) and i was also used to be judged a school kid travelling alone while i was in college.... i even smirked when a new security guard at my previous job tried to stop me entering the office premises, saying "Kids are not allowed"... i used to gloat when people used to exclaim such a small girl doing such a job...

But i was seriously hit when a Fellow blogger and tweet-mate said this..

Gtalk Chat
Muthu: They nice DP, u r looking good...
The Rat: Gee Thanks.. i took this today.. i love taking Rain shots..
Muthu: What?? i tot u had posted a photo from your 5th std class...

*Face Palms*...... sheesh literally... accepted that i can never pass off for the 24 yr old i am.. but 5th Std, what?? do i literally look like a 10 yr old?? *self rhetoric question*.....

and with this Dad wants me to take up Teaching job... just imagine me, a 4' midget with size zero figure, standing in front of a gang of unruly kids and shouting "Children, silence please".... No, i ll rather go jobless rather than taking up that self molestation....

and i seriously can't imagine joining the institution of marriage and being a mother... what would my kids call me, "Sister"??? and even before that, my parents should worry about warding off the NGOs who will be at the gate on my marriage day shouting "Stop this Child Marriage".. and hey, i should be worrying about the prospective guy, the in-numerous match making aunts bring me, shooing me of as the "Girls" kid sister.... Phooey....

i am one of those little people from Gulliver's Travels with a Peter Pan curse on me.....

P.S # he he he.. actually i am enjoying this very much... who wants to get married when i can stay 16 forever, ok stay 10... but nevertheless, i am a KID forever....

Yo Mama!!

being at home is both an advantage and disadvantage... disadvantage if ppl don't know the real side of u.... advantage coz u get to know your parents better.... every day i get to hear so much things from my parents that half the time spent awake is spent laughing my ass off..

Liquor n Fag:
Papa was a great alcohol n tobacco consumer i his pre-wedding days... its a known fact that he left drinking once my brother was born but no one knew when he quit smoking....

The Rat : Why did u quit smoking dad??
Papa: Because i was transferred from Hubli to Gobi...
The Rat: Huh??
Papa: Oh.... Gobi didnt had the brand i smoked, so i quit... Bristol i think..

Ah.... my great papa, as loyal as ever....

Bakery Barnacles:
Mom n Papa went out to get bread, ice cream and stuff.. Mom came back in a very foul mood... Mom explained that there was this brusque showing off woman who was talking too much... it so happened that she had a couple of kids both under 5 years of age, who were wailing loudly... the lady had been trying to scold and shut up the kids, it seems...
Dad : Oh come on! When our kids had been that age , you would have done the same..
Mom : At that age, we never took our kids to eat out.... i always prepared what-ever they asked...

That shut up papa for good, but the pride look his eyed bore had loads to talk for....

On the Rocks:

Drinking soda straight out of the fridge,

Mom: I asked for Sprite on the rocks, NOT Rocks on the Sprite.....

he he he he, instead of the door, i had placed the soda bottle inside the freezer, only to find the bottle freeze completely..... 

Its my Little Sisters Birthday tomorrow... had planned an elaborate surprise birthday for her... hope she doesn't find the gifts before the party :P

and i went to london, to meet the queen....

he he he... its a line from a kindergarten poem , i think... i learned it when i was a 5 yr old.. unfortunately i was only of that age when i went to a circus before.... and yes after some 20 years, i went to a circus again.... that was precisely how i spent my last weekend, apart from a lovely evening spent in kitchen with dad trying out a new snack recipe.....

i would be understating if i just said, it was an evening of surprises... for instance Dad called for an auto instead of us all 4 trooping to the distant bus stop.... and then again Dad surprised me again by letting me choose the seating arrangement at the circus... :-P and later getting me packs of Cotton Candy just because i love them... ah.... i should check if it is really my Dad or some alien counterpart.... :-D


The starting act was not so great with three females wearing a XL sized Diaper and a tee shirt from my kindergartens trying to ride a swing tied high above.... then came a parade of more Diaper wearing ladies, 4 Arabian beauties(Sigh.. Thank god Nachi and Chriz weren't here...), few Horses, Camels, Elephants and 4 jokers...



Jokers were pretty lame.... so was act by camels, horses and Parrots... all the time i was cursing the circus people for treating those poor creatures so badly.... i totally loved the act by Dogs.... For only one reason, those cute dogs didn't Obey their trainers; not even for a single second... the lady tried high 'n low to get the dog walk through the loop and stuff.. every time it kept running away from her and made her a sorry figure... but the high-time was when she started shouting at the dog, they had to stop the act... :-D

and ah.. there was this cute Korean guy who high-jumped , low-jumped and long jumped for an act... needless to say he jumped straight into my heart... Sighsss, too bad that he is too young for me :( poor Rat... 

And WOW !!! the bicycle act was so cool... the ladies were riding and literally dancing on it... one even looked like an elaborate love making scene, giving all Mom's a heart attack... turned out they were fighting , riding their respective cycles... Jeez.... :-P not to mention that i gave my mom a real heart attack. when we returned back home... i tried to imitate those girls only to fall over again and again... Dad said that they used special bicycles with no brakes... Mom confiscated mine though before i could remove the brakes :-( Mo-ms.... Really!!!

but the one great thing that happened and made my evening was... INDOOR RAIN!!!! this circus tent was a Kachha one and had god-knows-when-was-it-mended-last-time look... and when the show was going on it started to rain outside... needless to say it started pouring in too... whoa.. we had a field day, Really.... unlucky though i had a Jerkin on, as i am still down with flu and Mom is particularly concerned about me (No.. its not Swine Flu.. we got it checked already.. and i am already recovered, Almost!)



ARV, welcome back to India... Keshi girl, We are all waiting come back soon.... Raka, ur Hair cut is cool dear.... Aayushi, Cheer up baby.... Nachi, Wake up pothead.... Kajal, wr art thou.... Rosh, enough of your intern-ship, we need a post... Vasu, how are u FMS??....   DV, Wake up and smell the coffee...