A Chennai Girl's guide to Dating...

Let us start with a Disclaimer, shall we? What all goooood posts start with one... So --> This might apply to dates generally. But hello, I am writing this and I am a Chennai girl. Hence the title. ok? OK!

Venue: 
Chennai as much it is hot, is a beautiful place. If the guy leaves the choice of date to you, think wisely. And don't pick a mall, as much as the idea of spending the day at a Centrally Air-conditioned Mall tempts you to no end.

If it is a simple coffee date, do not pick the same old Cafe Coffee Day. Well hello, you have been sitting at that place almost daily and all the waiters know you and your order. Do yourself a favor and think about Madras Coffee House (T. Nagar), The Madras Kafe (Nungambakkam), Coffee Central (T Nagar), Coffee world (Abhiramapuram), The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf (Velachery) and so on. Or if you are really adventurous, ride out to ECR towards Kipling cafe.

Heck if the date sucks, you will at least have a good menu to ponder upon. Why should you be stuck with a bad date and a bad coffee??

Eating out:

umm... Eating at a restaurant, yes...

Starve the previous meal!!! please please, do not go pick on your food. What are you trying to do? Save him some bucks?? Go all out and chomp on that Masala dosa! Murder that plate of vazhapoo vada!! Or if you swing the other way, slurp some of that sauce from the chicken wings like you mean it! Carve out good chunk out of your beef steak. I personally like some good Mughalai biriyani, Syrian Beef fry and a lemon soda. Then may be a large serving of Ice cream. Or if there is a dessert buffet, three of everything and the chef on my plate, pretty please with whipped cream and cherry on top!

Digressing, ouch! My relationship with food is a different story, of well.. But yeah, I have learnt that a girl with a good appetite is a huge turn on for guys as much as anything else. Never got the logic behind it, oh well!

Dressing up: 

Not much of a choice here. Chennai climate makes sure that you can't wear layers. And wearing anything shorter will get you raped and I am not even joking here. I simply don't care and wear what I like. Add my quirky sense and you have a laugh riot. There have been instances when I have worn Sweater in May, White sheer kurta on a rainy August day, matched Yellow kurta with bright pink accessories, carried a red handbag and wore my green sneakers!! I am sure Actor Ramarajan would have been proud of me!

Conversation: 
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, DO NOT BRING UP BOOKS!! Chances are that his favorite book would be Three mistakes of my life by Chetan Bhagat. One fellow passionately dissected and explained Two states to me. The delicious grilled chicken sandwich was the only thing that held me from running away.

Another topic to avoid is music. I was happily singing along to Bohemian Rhapsody and one fellow said "I JUST LOVE JUSTIN BEIBER". I had to pretend that I went momentarily deaf just to sit there for 20 more minutes.

Stick to weather, the love for Chennai, the latest economic development and anything neutral... If he says, he hates Chennai and its climate, it is time for you run away like a headless chicken. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A CHENNAI HATER, ANYWAYS??

Well anyways, Be yourself. He should know what he is in for, shouldn't he??

And even after all these you do graduate to the mythical second date, sit back and relax, he is a keeper!! 

Madras Nalla Madras...

If you are from Chennai, you should know that August 22 is Madras Day. (Yeah ok, this post may be tad bit late... but oh well!) and MADRAS WEEK is celebrated from August 21 to 28, this year. Year before last we (read The Chennai Photowalk club) had a photo exhibition at Mylapore and last year at Odyssey, Adyar. Go take a look, they still have the photographs displayed on the staircase-sidewall. Brownie points to those who recognize my name and my photograph. This year, though we don't have any exhibition, the regular photo walks are on... More details here.

Me being me, thought I would do a post on two things I love the most, apart from photography - Chennai and Food, though not in that order always. Ask any Amit about what comes to his mind if you say Chennai, he would promptly say Idli/Dosa. Ok some may mention the heat and the sweat, but its raining hippos and rhinos now, so IN YOUR FACE AMIT!! :-D

Not to be called an amateur blogger, I talked to couple of old citizens of Chennai to gain a little inside knowledge about the cuisine of Chennai. I got many a dreamy eyed glazed expressions and a mention of a special Madras Curry. Now, I have no clue nor have I never heard of it before. Goaded further, one 60 year old paati made her daughter-in-law make the curry for me while she gave a steady stream of instructions.

Several konjam molaga podi podu - Nalla idichi podu - illa illa ippo illa, Kari vendha apram thaan sekkanum - innum konjam molaga podi podu - Kari vendrucha paaru- molaga podi potiya?? laters, I was served with a steaming bowl of Mutton curry over white rice. Did I mention the several instructions about molaga podi aka Chilli Powder?? Yes, the curry is so hot, that you won't get out of a swimming pool for the rest of the day and not to mention the adventure at the loo the next morning. So no wonder, no one makes this Madras curry anymore or its absence on the Chennai hotel menus.

Anyway, moving on, the other dishes which the paatis told me were our good old Idli, Dosai, Medu Vadai, Masala Vadai, Keerai Vadai, and ofcourse Filter Kaapi. Besh besh, romba nalla irukku.  between, this ad will whoop ass any surya-jothika-bru-coffee combination

Filter Kaapi is best had in a dabara tumbler with one third of the coffee in the tumbler and the rest in dabara. The suuurrr aka slurp sound will cool down any hot kaapi. The darker the kaapi, the better. Give any mama or maami a lighter kaapi, you will be met with scornful eyes and will be put on never-to-invite-to-any-home-functions list.

The best kaapi, I have had is at this maami's house where she served me with a tumbler of kaapi made from  Indian ‘monsoon’ beans. The Indian Monsoon is named thus as the beans are exposed to rains and winds. This makes them pale,swell and gain a unique, strong flavour. It reminds you of earth, rain and that sweet smell when the first rain hits the earth. Mmmmmmmm...

Another coffee memory of mine is a pretty funny one and one which I had often repeated. Appa had the habit of buying ground coffee beans fresh from the then "Coffee day" stores (not the modern Cafe Coffee Days). Every evening after school, it was my job to prepare the dicotion (yeah yeah decoction) and keep it ready for him when he arrives from office. It was a pretty easy job, place the ground coffee powder on the upper part of the coffee strainer, press it down with the sieve disc, pour hot water over it, cover the upper part and wait for the magic to happen. What actually happens is the chicory sort of holds on to the hot water a little longer, letting the water extract more flavour from the coffee powder (straight kaapi paste from Wikipedia)

So anyways we are digressing. That interesting part of making dicotion was my job. I continued this pretty religiously. What I didn't know was that darling Appa had switched to ready made coffee powder which dissolves instantly in water. Please to imagine his thunderstruck face when he came home and found a pretty strong "dicotion" made from 4 tablespoons of instant coffee powder waiting for him. And with that I lost my coffee making job. :-(

on a leaving note, did you know that Srilankan Tamil name for kaapi is "Kottai Vadineer".. No? I didn't either... Go read this...

Travelling in Chennai's Autos and Share Autos

Some time back quarter life crisis came calling and I took many impulse decisions! I quit the magazine, got a new job, got new projects, scheduling workshops and such stuff. I also reduced my work hours and took a decision not to work on weekends. Realized that its simply not worth it. Also a close brush with a probable Cancer Diagnosis 2 months back helped me to take this decision. (But that's fodder for yet another post)

Before launching into the post, I am conducting a Basic Photography workshop for Hobby Photographers on 6th & 7th August, 2011 at & Studios. Details here. Interested people do attend!

Anyway coming to the post, due to my job change my daily schedule has changed immensely. I have quit taking buses and switched to autos/share autos. Mainly because of the longish commute time in bus. (auto takes half the actual time in this route). So here is my 2 cents about the terror ride aka Autos of Chennai.

From time immortal Chennai auto-drivers are known to take you for a ride quite literally. I strongly believe that these drivers have these strong notion of "7th Sense" which makes them sense how rich you are. Someone said "Dogs can smell fear". I am afraid Auto-drivers can smell urgency.  The route which I take regularly costs me around Rs. 40 (or 50, if it rains). One day I had missed an appointment and had to rush. I did my best not to show my urgency but still it cost me Rs. 120. @#$#%% The driver had a gall to ask me extra 20 bucks when I reached the destination stating mumbo-jumbo of reasons. I has in a hurry and in no mood to argue. Anyways, I just ran away and didn't pay anything more, but that's a different story.

Don't let the auto-driver know how unsure you are about the location. As far as I know, every mobile has GPRS connection now (Don't get me into GSM, EDGE, 3G and all such stuff now!) Just Google the approximate location. For example, If you have to go somewhere in Kodambakkam, Google a bit. Be confident and say you have to reach Sekhar Emporium.  If you think he is saying exorbitant price, just say "What brother?? I take that route 4 times daily. I pay only 40 rupees". Seriously, most folks relent to it :-P If you don't have a mobile or any connectivity, ask around. People ARE helpful!!

Always ask how much they are going to charge before getting into the auto. I luckily learnt this lesson in my very first week in Chennai. I was still in college and had to reach Guindy Railway station. I hired an auto without asking about the cost. Bleddy he looted Rs.70 for an otherwise 20 rupee ride. His reason, "Madam. I have driven 7 kms. 1 km is 10 rupees. Better pay up or i ll hit you". :-\ And in another instance the driver actually hit me for not giving him extra 10 bucks. :-(

No matter how much greedy they are, I have always found Chennai auto-drivers to be very helpful. (Except some, may be) I have heard cases of auto-drivers driving single woman into lonely lanes and having their way with them in Bangalore and Delhi. Have actually heard a recount of a college senior who went through such a harrowing experience but escaped, thanks to her presence of mind. She just RAN at break-neck speed!! :) But I haven't heard of such incidents in Chennai. Correct me if I am wrong. According to my personal experiences, I have always found auto-drivers very helpful and some even making sure I reach home safely, in case I am hiring an auto pretty late in night. Couple of instances I have even seen them helping with my camera gear if I am carrying any, even without asking.

To me share autos are the safe bet. Though they don't ply in all the routes, they do run in some of the busiest routes and sometimes where buses are scarce. The prices are pretty cheap. Starting from Rs.5, they highest one charges is Rs.20. And they will ply even if you are the only one onboard. Ok, may be they will dilly-dally a bit at the stops but they won't make you disastrously late.

Share autos are my safe option when I don't know the route exactly. I get on one and ask the people or the driver himself. And mostly some or the other will point me in the right direction. And most times I have the funniest conversation in these share autos. I leave you with couple of anecdotes.

Random lady: Oh god! Your lips are pink!
Me: Ummm is that a crime??
RL: Oh no. They are just umm kissable. Can I borrow your lipstick?
Me: *facepalm*
By now, the other fellow male passenger was laughing maniacally. And no, I don't use any cosmetics.  

Random guy: Nice boyfriend haan?
Me: Excuse me??
RG: Oh you are glued to your mobile since you got into the auto. Thought you are texting someone.
Me: Oh no! I am just tweeting.
RG: Oh what is that??
Me: (He looks like a software guy so...) It is like blogging. Just a shorter version of that.
RG: Aah nice. Then you should blog about this auto-ride and me!! hehehehe
Me: Yeah Rite!!

Oh wait!!!!

A city girl's guide to travelling in Chennai Bus

Travelling in a bus across Chennai city is an art. Or in any city for that matter. But I really haven't traveled in bus in any other city, so I will limit my gyaan bataoing to Chennai.

Now were do I start?? It is necessary for you to understand the different types of buses and bus boards. Bus board is that thingy which has the bus number, origin and destination of the bus written on it. The funny thing is Chennai may be the only city with atleast 4 types of buses and 4 bus board colors. And each is a different service and has a different meaning.

First you have normal buses (if you can call that so), then you have Luxury buses, then you have vestibules, and finally the king of all, the AC buses.Luxury buses are anything but luxury. Lesser seats, no proper ventilation and exit/entry has doors which will open only if the driver is kind enough to let you get down. Lets forget for sometime the luxury buses with the doors prised open and tied to poles by some goondas who don't like technology or just want to get down anywhere at any time. Then you have vestibules, essentially two buses linked together like railway compartments. I don't think, I need to explain AC buses, which seem to be the boon for many folks.

Moving on the color of the bus boards, you have white, yellow, green and blue, the purpose of which is lost on me. White board buses have a minimum ticket price of Rs. 2, followed by yellow with Rs. 2.5, then green with Rs.3 and blue with Rs. 5.  Then you have buses with electronic buses with minimum ticket price of Rs.5. AC buses charge you Rs. 13 as a minimum price.

Are you still with me?? Hello!!!! Someone bring water for these fainted folks plz.. :D

So now you know the basics of Chennai moffusil bus service let us get on with our guide to travelling in a bus in Chennai.

Interiors of an AC Bus

1. When you are taking a bus to a new location, always ask a friend, check, cross check, ask someone, ask the conductor and then get into bus. For example lets take an example that you are taking a bus from Teynampet to Besant Nagar but have to get down on the previous stop. Your friends will ask you to take 23 series bus. But then again you have 23C, 23V, 23C (yup, 23C with a cut), M23C, 23C (LSS) and so on. and then you have electronic board buses, which have the habit to skip a stop if it stops at one. 23V goes to some other location. M23C will take a round about route, which will be a brilliant Chennai Dharsan. And 23C won't plain stop anywhere but at the destination stop. You get the drift. So you always ask a friend, check, cross check, ask someone, ask the conductor and then get into bus, never in any other order.

2. Each bus will have three rods, one at the entrance, one at the exit and one in between. If you are someone like me with no clue about grace, agility and err are basically a clumsy cat, hold on to these rods like your life depends on them. Prefer the ones near the entry/exit as extricating yourself from the middle of the bus will be close to impossible when you want to get down. And RESIST the urge to pole dance on these rods no matter how empty the bus may be. The pain is so not worth it. ouch, rubs the temples.

If you are tall enough to reach the bars on the bus roof, well don't bother :|

3. Carry change. By change I mean 50p & Rs. 1 coins. If your ticket value is Rs. 2.50 or such fractions, you can as well say good bye to the 50p change, unless it is your lucky day.

4. There is no such thing as Ladies section and Gents section. Oh yes, you will see the left portion of the bus reserved women folks. But the last time I saw someone adhering to this rules was err.. way back in the medieval. If you wish to stand all through the journey, you can stick by I-wont-go-sit-in-the-gents-side rule! And there is no such thing as you will be safe from guys if you stand near the ladies side. Bullshit!!

Women getting off a bus

If someone is horny and wants to grope you, he will grope you no matter where you stand. The best thing is to 'accidentally' step on his toes or 'accidentally' drive your elbow forcefully into you-know-where so that it pains and blame it all on the moving bus. :D Or if you prefer drama, just start asking him 'what are you doing?' in a loud voice and watch him being thulped by the aunties on the bus :D

And feel free to kick anyone who says you to dress 'conservatively' so that you won't be troubled by the guys. Seriously!! I have seen girls in Burqah/Purdah harassed more than a girl in shorts and tank tops (the latter being me). Wear anything you want. Just be confident and that will keep any guy away from you.

Normally crowded bus!

5. And the major point of getting seats. On a crowded bus when you see a seated person packing her handbag, closing a book or just adjusting her clothes, thats your cue. Move, wriggle, struggle and elbow your way towards the said seat and land your ass firmly there. Don't give in to any other elements present unless you want to spend your whole two hours of journey standing :|

Its up to you if you want to give your seat to someone. If you see a pregnant lady, a really old lady or someone visibly ill, please be a human and offer your seat. But if someone is using the most cliché "You are young, you can stand" line on you, feel free to bonk their head. Chances would be you would have taken that bus after a 12-hour-brain-wrecking-time-at-office-which-included-a-6-hour-marathon-meeting and the utterer of the sentence would have just emerged out of her house after a  refreshing bath and on the way to meet her family friend. Just give them an ugly stare and proceed to sit or if you are me just ask them "So, which office are you working in and how was your day?" and smirk :-D

The mighty Rs.30 ticket

6. If you are a daily commuter, purchase a pass. This is not only economically good but also helps when the crowd is impossible and no one is passing your ticket. There is also a daily pass system for women, frequent travelers and so on. If you are not a regular but have to travel on a bus way too many times on a single day purchase the Rs.30 ticket. This is not a pass but gives you freedom to travel any number of times , anywhere in the city for one whole day.

Well thats about it. Exude confidence, take that random bus and rule the city!

P.S: I have not included Night Service Bus in this post as I have least knowledge on it.

Disclaimer: These opinions are my own. You may have different experience in a bus. Feel free to disagree. and the pics used are not mine. Thank you Google baba!

ASSumptions!

Random Old Frayed Lady (ROFL) in bus: Hmm.. So you don't have a boy friend??
Me: I am sorry?
ROFL: No.. need not be sorry..
Me: What? I mean, i didn't get you.
ROFL: I am guessing you don't have a boy friend.
Me: Oh?
ROFL: Yeah.. In past one month, i have seen you quite a few times in this route.. I have never seen you get a message or call from anyone even once.
Me: ugh ugh.
ROFL: I have never seen you check your mobile either. so you don't have a boy friend.
Me: [baffled look]
ROFL: So how long are you dieting?
Me: eh?
ROFL: Yeah.. I notice you are a health freak. You got the most flat stomach, I have ever seen.
Me: Duh.. [mumbles] Thanks
ROFL: Yeah.. I see most guys stare at your stomach. They are fascinated. You look like a model..
Me: oh.
ROFL: Why don't you like Music?
Me: What???
ROFL: Yeah. I have never seen you listen to music in bus. Don't you have an iPod?
Me: ummm
ROFL: Buy one. Music is good for lonely people. It will bring you solace when you see other girls going around with guys and you are single.
Me: eh? [thinking WTF?]
ROFL: Join Facebook or Orkut, you will find many good boys. [smiles] I know you are not in there.
Me: Ugh ugh.
ROFL: and stop working too much. A good girl should be in home by 5 pm.
Me:  Ok bye. i have to get down here.
ROFL: Oi. your office is at Nandanam. Two more stops to go. Sit! Talk to me. You need to learn to make more friends.
Me: [thinking more friends? oh god!] errr
ROFL: Don't you have good boy's in office? Guess they are all married or engaged. No good guys or girls stay single for long.
Me: Huh.
ROFL: yeah... Go out and meet people. You will find interesting guys. You need to find someone and get married soon.
Me: [by now very amused] hmmm which places do you suggest?
ROFL: I dunno... CCD, Barista or  any of the coffee shops.
Me: Oho. Umm Aunty what do you do?
ROFL: [Proudly] I work for *** Dept of TN.
Me: Oho and as what?
ROFL: Oh i am a clerk.
Me: Do you have any kids aunty? Are they Good boys and girls?
ROFL: Oh i never got married..
Me: Err.. So, you, who never got married, are asking me to find a boy friend and get married, though you can visibly see I am still young. Is that right?
ROFL: Err,i have to get down here.. babye..
Me: ROFL!!!

And that my friends, was what happened today morning on the way to Office in 18K bus route! :-D :-D

Gaah!!! i need to repair my mp3 player before such maamis find me a target for their lecture yet again!! :|

The Return of Killer Vadas!

Whenever I move away from a place, more than the place or the people I miss the food there... when I left Chennai few years back, i missed Sambar Sadam/Bisibelabath and Sambar vada more than anything else.. and full meals too.. missed them so much that when I landed back in Chennai a year ago, I promptly hit a Saravana Bhavan and ordered Sambar Sadam, Yummm Slurp!!

So you can see what I would be missing now! Yup the street food of Indore... Indore was the city which made me a glutton... The Chappan Bhog with its 56 shops of different delicacies and the Sarafa market (which is ideally a jewelry mart that transforms into a food bazaar post 9 pm) are dedicated for food and food only...

Dal baati is one heavy food that has to be reserved for Sundays and Holidays...  Made of Dal, I ate this first at a Sai Temple, I had the habit of visiting for my Reiki treatment... it was served with lemon, some chutney, dal, onions and something else..  was so full that I slept in the car by the time i reached home :-|

Ghamandi lassi takes the punjabi lassi to a totally different level... Butte ka kiss is a kiss of a parallel world... This is a part of India which wakes up to Hot Jilebi and soft Poha... Johnny's hot dog at the Chappan dhukan may be just bun and patties but they are so crisp and lovely, you will end up ordering more than enough... trust me i always did...

This was the first place I had "Mitha Samosa" that too by mistake, a sweet mistake nevertheless... Garadu is just yam cut into small pieces, fried and served with lemon and spices... Just pop in a piece and there will be myriad number of tastes popping in your mouth... Mithe Tukade is a fried bread slice served with generous helping of dry fruits and cream, Yumm!!

When I got back from office, I usually took a walk from the main market to my house buying vegetables, stuff and stopping especially for a plate of Paani pathasa (paani poori for you lesser mortals), Aloo kachori and sometimes a bite of Khaman...

If its saturday, my weekly off, I will walk over to Apna sweets for a Lunch Thali...  for 80 bucks you get 5 pooris or rotis, chola, dal tadka, dal makhani, rice, pulao, 2 sabjis, 2 rasgullas, papad, pickle, onions, lassi and dahi.... yumm slurp!!

Sigh... anyhow, this is also the city which showed me Sago/Javvarisi is not just for payasam, payasa or kheer... they make umpteen number of dishes with a handful of Sago... Sabudhana khichdi is to die for and my personal favorite is Sabudhana Vada... So imagine my delight when mom left a pack of Sago during her last visit... :-D

I got into the act of finding the recipe and gathering the ingredients... very simple to make and Ta-DA..

A bowl of soaked Sago, grated potatoes, finely diced onions, rice flour, green chillies and some chaat masala.. mix them all, make them into balls and deep fry them... voila!!

 I can go back to Indore just to eat all day :-D Sigh, how i miss the Dark chocolate pastries of Fantasy and  a nice plate of chat at Khajuri Bazaar!!

Mamma Told me "Don't you talk to a Stranger"

it is not a secret that i love working from a CCD near my house... whenever i get bored of sitting alone at home, i move over to this little shop... i have been frequenting ever since i came back to Chennai and these folks are so used to me... they play music of my choice and change whenever i ask them to.. these folks know my orders and never make the mistake of giving me a menu card... i adore this place..

and no, marketing for CCD is not what this post is meant to do...  a couple of days back, i was at CCD again... as i walked in i noticed an uneasy looking couple... i gave them a benefit of doubt and set up my Ideapad at my usual table (see i even have my fixed table :P)... not a min late, the female walked over (for id sake lets call her Sally) and said "umm can you please find if there is a train to Mumbai tonite".. me being the me Googled for it and said that there was a daily CST Mail to Mumbai... suddenly the female started blabbering.. following is the conversation that ensued, from my raw memory...

Sally: I so don't like the guy sitting with me.. we hardly know each other but he wants to get married to me and forcing me.. i want to goto Mumbai ASAP..
Me: Duh??
Sally: you tell me, can you decide whom to marry in a matter of 24 hours... you cant rite.. he is asking me to decide now..
Me: duh, duh??
Sally: *turning around* Kamlesh, i want to leave, there is a train today..Can we?

Saying that she walked back to her table... when she said all these, i hadn't uttered a word and had this incredulous expression on my face...  i went back to my work briefly, when she walked back and said "hey do you mind if i sit here a bit?".. i was still stunned to reply.. never in my life had a stranger barged into my personal space like this.. even the CCD folks maintain distance if i sit alone.. So the female sat and started again.. God, did she give her whole history??  i know more about her than my Closest friend knows about me...

well after giving details about her jobs, her education, her family, where she lives and et al, she started advising not to decide about marriage in a haste and think about my life... yeah rite!!! you reveal all this to a complete stranger?? i don't get it.. in btw the guy and another friend of his came and took her forcefully, while she wanted to talk to me a bit more.. *brain was screaming no no no by now*

a few minutes passed by when ultimately my brain started digesting the whole incident...  this female has come down from Maharashtra to TamilNadu just for this guy and now she is not sure about him... but the guy was hell bent on him... umm what if??? NO!!! i instantly texted Pigsty and said him the whole situation... talking more about it made me harried... we searched for her co-ordinates and found her mobile number.. yup yup thanks to Face-book and Orkut... *Females PLEASE to hide your personal details at these sites*

we couldn't reach through and by now my brain was on an over ride imagining stuff.. In btw Pigsty had pinged a friend of his and we somehow found some friends of Sally over a matter of few hours.. more phone calls and email threads ensued.. but still we were not able to reach her.. call to her family was futile but lets not go there, it is a different story, #sighs...

finally we got thru her after some 18 hrs of the CCD incident.. Now comes the sweet part.. the Female denied the whole story.. she has it that she was at Chennai to attend a marriage.. then she gave another story of being in Chennai to meet this psycho who was troubling her... and what more, She called me a "Strange Lady" who is spreading stories about her... Yes Sirre, i dish out stories about random strangers and give them to National TV... My FOOT, LEFT FOOT!!! @#$%^&! i feel like a bloody prank was played on me...

Seriously, man.... Kick me if i care for a stranger ever again, let alone talk to them in future.. .

P.S # Special Thanks to Pigsty, AG and AS, who were real sweet hearts and did a great James Bond investigation... *ahem hope Pigsty will not kick me for nicknaming him this*

Disclaimer: All names are changed owing to privacy, mine ofcourse :D

Missing in action, Ratzzz

And Definitely no one missed me this time.... :-\

on the other hand... this break wasn't planned or purposeful.. it just happened.. to all those who felt that, that my last post was a random tantrum.. u wr absolutely right, NOT!!!! my whole diwali weekend was a disaster.. spent the whole diwali on bed, with heavy migraine... cudnt even drink a draught of water without feeling nauseatic.. got up around 10 pm with a client calling to check my work progress.. yeah right!! puked violently at around midnight and went back to sleep blissfully... sad part, i was so sick to even inform The Boy or in that case my parents back home.. :( next day was okies with me dilly-dallying in bed and having a lunch date with the great girl, Me Myself... but i know so many ppl that i get recognized everywr i go...

At a coffee pub, met atleast dozen who wr like "u are Ratzzz? right??" Grinzzz.. ultimately a friend came to the rescue after that we went "coffee-hopping" :-) food hopping and ice-cream hopping has become a regular event thanks to The Boy and the mentioned friend.. Both are big time foodies... :-)

if i am not on a Holy Grail, then the time is spent writing or sleeping or reading, but never in any order... the grail being the Food here.. chennai never had been better than this...

yet have to decorate my "bachelorette" pad.. DV and Soph are playing there part perfectly, reminding me every day :( only i got no motivation.. all the wall paper and paint are staring at me blankly :(

went for the Save Tada - Clean up trek yday.. was shocked to see so much litter in such a remote place... happily plonked into the pool to clean it all up... separate post later.. never realised that it had so many glass bottles before i woke up today morning... both my legs have cuts and scratches at multiple locations :-| and not to mention a tired body...

230 dustbuster, 2 tons of garbage, enuf blood and cuts... later, we were still raring to go... 

not to forget the various new folks i met... from naughty guys to Down to earth photographers Hari and Makka(Karthik Ramalingam) every one made my day... d trek was as usual super fun with all of us jumping into the pool, without even knowing how to paddle o_O ok no comments abt my non swimmer self :P

Nemesis, my cam had a field day though.. as usual forgot to click the people and concentrated on wild flowers and algae... :P thats that.. tired body needs more sleep as of now..

and hey, yesh!!! on other news, i got PUBLISHED!!!! yay...  i toned down version of my last post.. go check out here ... It is an upcoming Mag and this is our first publication... and ahem! u can be nice and demand a print of the mag... this is a demand on print Magazine... now shoo, off u go to Thebanyantrees... :-)

 The Banyan Trees..

P.S # 1 : Gils.. hate u.. wont talk to u or comment on ur post till u make up for making me cancel my evening plans so as to meet u and not turning up at time :-| no chocolates wont help!!! nor will Vadai!!

P.S # 2 : Speeling and Grammr nazis... off u go.. i turned dyslexic for today... but then again, i am like that only :P

Turn off that noise please....

You, yup i am talking to you.. seriously, you need to rethink your priorities completely... You, the one who doesn't even know your mythology and history properly... yeah You, the one who thinks its his right to do anything with cities environment...

Can you just think over your deeds.. if not for me atleast for the kids, old folks and lastly our pets??? please...

you know how many times i have bit my tongue and hit my head against The Boy's  helmet in last one week because of your attitude to surprise me with untimely crackers?? what's the fucking need to burst crackers at untimely hours... and you, you stupid git with an battery widget instead of your usual organ, what really gave you the idea that i'll fall in love with you, if you light up an atom bomb when i cross you??? like hell, i ll... had not i been scared to core by that sudden blast, i would have blasted your head instead of that cracker...

You know about the number of calls my colleague gets.. you ask why.. ok hear this out, the daughter of his, a mere 3 year old kid, is scared to the marrow and is shivering for past two days because of all the noise you create... she is just a toddler, dumbwit.. can't you please spare her???

and do u know, i haven't passed a stray dog or cat or cow in that case for the past week while walking.. ever wondered why?? you doofus, the racket you create scares them.... it makes them hide and cower in fear....

Can you please put mute on the noise atleast this year... haven't the so many rules about decibel levels, time limits and stuff told you something yet??

oh heavens Sake.. Diwali is a "festival of Lights" not a festival of noise and air pollution, i say... please guys, burn lights and diyas not Crackers or a hole in your pocket...

go ahead.. i say go ahead, if u wish to see your head blasted into a thousand fragments....

30 Things To do in Chennai...

First Things First... Speak Bindas contacted me sometime last week for an interview... Was apprehensive 'coz of the whole anonymity issue... We sorted that out and you have the exclusive Rendezvous with the Rat here...

Saw a similar post in one of the met-blogs of another city.. thought will add my own list for Chennai.. not in any order and is not exhaustive either... add your own in the comments section...

1. Take a walk on the beach from Marina to Elliot's Beach
2. Capture the Sunrise at Broken Bridge
3. Haggle over trinkets at Pondy Bazaar
4. Scourge for a long forgotten book at Moor Market... trust me you'll get it...
5. Click the Moon on Full moon day at Thiruvanmiyur Beach
6. Have a quaint cup of coffee at Rathna Cafe
7. Enjoy the peace at Kapaleeshwarar Temple, Mylapore..
8. Squeeze through the crowd to get vegetables at Koyambedu
9. "Enjoy" the pulling and pushing at Ranganathan Street
10. Pay over Rs.200 for a ten minute Autoride
11. Catch a movie at Broadway Talkies.. scoot over multiplexes...
12. Read some ancient literature at Connemaara Library
13. Attend a Music concert at TTK Salai
14. Pray along the waves at the Sea shore Sai Temple, Injambakkam
15. Party on a hired boat at Muttukaadu Lake
16. Look out for an ancient yet sturdy buildings at Mint Street
17. Climb the Lighthouse at Marina
18. Pick up a handicraft doll at Alwarpet
19. Wait in queue to get a plate of hot Puliyothare at Grand Sweets & Snacks
20. Refrain from feeding the baby crocs at the Crocodile Park
21. Ape the monkeys at Guindy Children's Park
22. Try finding the Adyar Banyan Tree.. No Google is not allowed
23. Spot a Sandalwood Tree at Vandalur Zoo
24. Try gaining an entry into the Guindy National park.. a Reserve forest right at the heart of the city, where else can u find it... 
25. Handle the snakes at 3 pm daily at the Snake Park
26. Munch on a Vada, fresh off the Vada-mala of the 32 feet tall Anjaneyar Statue at Nanganallur
27. Attend a marriage at any of the chthrams at Vadapalani
28. Attend the Vinayak Visarjan at Sowcarpet...
29. Relish a plate of Biriyani at Samco, TTK road
30. Take the MRTS from Velachery to Beach

and as the legend says "you have much more to do at Chennai"... Cheers...

Edited to add:

More things to do in Chennai...

• Go shopping for cheap but good fabric at Fashion/Pantheon Road, Egmore (Aarthi)
• Soak in various cultures at Dakshin Chitra (Aarthi)
• Get yourself scolded by an auto-driver in chaste Madras Thamizh for no fault of yours. (Rammmmm :-P)
• Get drenched in the Madras rains and wade(swim) around after that (Rammmmm)
• Click pics of Armenia in Namma Chennai at Armenian Street (Gils)
  

Graffitis and one-liners...

i went to my alma-mater some time last week...  though it was my own college, @Manorath offered to accompany me (no moot points for guessing that he is my junior there :P)

though i wasn't looking forward, i visited my Hostel at the campus...  CEG girls hostel is pretty famous and well known.. but our ACT hostel is secluded and cut off from the rest of the campus... so its pretty peaceful and at times "shady" making it an ideal location :P

i really didnt expect anyone to recognize me... but what to do, i am that famous that the hostel staff squealed (with joy or fright, i don't want to hazard a guess) :D  i went to my final year room just for the sake of it...who am i kidding, it has more memories linked to it than my whole four years in college put together...

During my final year, i was living alone that i had filled up the walls with so many graffiti works... every time i felt bored i'll take out my colored pens and set out to work...i was happy with my work... it is another story that the hostel staff was appalled :-P they were planning to get my room painted so as to erase all that stuff..

so you can imagine my surprise when i found all those works still there on walls... :-) every writing, every single pencil sketch, every word proclaiming that "i am the best"... everything was there... hostel manager said a staff had fought for me to keep it there and said sorry that the following year an inmate had tore of my wardrobe paintings before they could stop her...

it was yet another graffiti done with multicolored spray paints on a white background... it had palm prints and abstract art among other things.... i was bit said that it was gone.. but yet happy that other works were there... lucky i carried my cam with me.. so i happily clicked all my mishaps :P

Dreamvendor and Soph may object to my habit of mine.... but i still love painting Graffiti and murals...ok i am against De-facing our historical places, public buildings and public transport but still Graffiti are great...

well you see, i had my first visual lesson on sex education during one train journey...  i was in my class 7th then, i think... i innocently went to the loo to see a detailed art of what goes where and does what with all the nitty-gritties neatly explained... even my peer group and Zoology teacher failed to explained me so efficiently....

i was attending a national conference at IIT-G during my college where i got my first taste of graphic novels... marked into the desks of these kids  was a complete comic script of such a story... these kids are a genius , i say.. and if not for these engravings how in the world could we recognize their hidden talents, i say...

and you should read the walls of Chennai metro train instead of eavesdropping on what the female sitting next to you is gossiping...  you ll know updated details of who is going out with whom and fresh leads of whom to hit...

Some lines found by your truly:

 "Padithathum Marandhu vitavum" (Forget once you read this) 

 "Jobless!! go goggle at that big breasted woman" (Now, seriously!!) 

 "Raghu, I Love you - Yours only Raji

 Sorry Raghu, your widget is too small.. Surya, you are my hero"

The last one had me flabbergasted and in splits that i wondered if i am really in Chennai....
 

and so.. what graffiti or a public line did u enjoy??

Musings of a Chennai Ponnu...

Who am i??

i usually take a walk from Chetpet station to my office near Egmore every morning.. this makes up my dose of exercises daily... in the process i have to cross a slum settlement with loads of chapels and small shrines... last week there was some function going on there along with distribution of food packets by the localites... some young guys were re-directing vehicles and people to take a different route as this was a sacred function... to my amusement, they let me pass through saying "Dei Machan andha ponnu christian da.. vidu pottum" (hey, Brother-in-law.. That girl is a Christian..let her go)

I was wondering when did they get me converted when i noticed the guy pointing at my rather hefty gothic Crucifix,that i was wearing as a pendant... like duh!! what they missed to notice was a prominent ॐ and a Crescent hanging from my charm bracelet... duh!!

why this preference to one's religion and community... i dont understand this at all... i keep wondering...

Inflation Ba!!

I dunno how many Adyar ppl know, but there is this parallel shop besides Adyar Bakery aka Shakes n Creams.. practically situated at the parking area of Adyar bakery this quaint little shop churns out awesome vadas, cutlets, pakoras, bhajjis and such things...

during my college time, i used to throng this place every evening.. and they had started only during my second year of college... i was all nostalgic and stopped by there yday.. i handed out a ten rupee note and asked them to pack a couple of cutlets... the guy took a look at me and my note and said "Velai eri romba masam aaradhu ma.. innum rendu rooba kodu" (its months since the price rose.. give me two more rupees)...


I asked why the price hike and got the cliched reply "Inflation ba" (inflation dear)

Metro Train:

 Early morning also sees me taking our own "Metro" train to Chetpet... Its an experience in itself, i say... by any chance if i miss the 7 15 local then its surely a hell ride for me.. right from being jostled from one corner to the other, being spewed at with a volley of bad words (thankfully i dont understand much), being stamped and trampled, huh its worse than hell...

but i get to meet special "Specimens" only here... once by mistake i climbed into a general compartment... there was this guy staring at me all through the journey and doing antics to get my attention.. i purposely was looking at the other direction.. this happened till i was about to get down... as i got down, that specimen came close near and muttered something like "Look at me please... i have a bet with my friend " or something to that effect... i burst out laughing... ha ha ha.. needless to say he lost his bet... :-P i know, i am evil...

Street Photography:

I have taken to street photography too much these days.. apart from the group walk at Mint Street on 22nd Aug and Pondy Bazaar walk  on 30th Aug, i always tend to indulge in some clicks if and when i see something curious..

it so happens that there is this temple festival near my place.. they had arranged this big Amman  paper mache statue and several small god statues... i started clicking them yday as i passed it, and to my amusement there were these random strangers who wanted me to click pics of them along with these "gods".. they took a look at the pics and said "you take pics nicely" or something to that effect and left... they didnt even bother to ask if they will get a copy.. they just wanted to be photographed...

like how narcissistic can we become!!!

Talking about Narcissism, i have to mention a certain thick-head thick friend of mine, Vasu... if u take the pain to notice, i have posted my awards from fellow bloggers in the side bar as sticky notes... the idea was originally Vasu's.. naturally he wanted his 15 minutes of Fame..

the actual transcript of our chat:

me: i stole ur ideas of sticky notes

Vasu: a lot of my ideas get copied.. so no probs. u can use it :)

me: poda poda

Vasu: oi! put up a thnx for me too for d idea :P

me: inna? ok ok..alpame... ll do that in the next post

Vasu: :D i also need publicity.  i am stil single.  :P

me: tho da....  i am gonna copy these exact lines.... revenge revenge :P

Vasu: it wil only give me more publicity :D

me: ha ha ha..

 
:P Should i say anything more, you single girls??? off u go to his page... incidentally our darling is an Aerospace engineer (from MIT) , pursuing his MBA at NITIE, Mumbai... the  doofus also stood first in his CAT exams, i think... and has several awards to his name.... and yeah he worked with Infosys for a couple of years too :P

(revenge revenge.. i pictured u as a Geek, Vasu.. muwaha ha ha ha ha ha)

 P.S # i am off to hang out with DV, Soph and Aru at Citi-center.. meet you later guys...

Bratzz in the Bazaar!!

it all started with a innocent looking Text message from DV while i was literally hanging by thread in the local MRTS train... it said "Check your gmail and duly reply thru sms or mail"

Seriously speaking, when ever i get such cryptic Texts, my brain goes into overdrive and an unknown dread spreads over me... i keep on thinking about the various bluffs and blunders i do on an hourly basis... and it had been months since someone chastised over Gmail... like duh!! i was worrying myself sick till i connected into the world wide web... it was just a hang-out discussion thread... Phew!!

After  a whole load of planning-changing-cussing-changing-planning we planned to hit the special place of Chennai... thats how Pondy Bazaar saw the brats Ratzzz, Dreamvendor, Soph, and Hari hanging around there with numerous bags and cams in the pretext of getting a black Stud for the dude, DV...

The plan was to meet over lunch at 10 Downing Street(which your Truly had to forgo due to her ever sincerity ather work, ahem ahem) , followed my street photography and street wise shopping... Ahem, needless to say there was more photography than shopping...

the shopping haul consisted of some shirts, a pair of trousers, couple of scarves, sun screen lotions, studs, trinkets among 4 of us... DV was literally molested  by the Lady at "Health and Glow" who wouldn't let go of DVs hand.. har har har, i wouldn't be surprised if DV is found hanging around there for another week.. me and Soph behaved like complete Divas and bought pretty scarves just because they were on discount sale :P

Coffee at Geetha Cafe was the intial Bribe offered by DV for joining him... it was another laugh riot there... DV and Hari were safely ordering Sambar Vada along with your coffees.. Soph chose bonda and was asked how much she wants... she said one but was brought 4... wow!! my story was totally diff... i asked for Masala Vada.. the dear waiter said they dont have it and will bring me Onion Vada instead... fine with me.. only that, the darling waiter brought me Masala Vada, ha ha ha... Me loved that :-D

We,the nosy crowd entered the pondy bazaar in search for a single-black-stone-stud for our new style icon DV... he failed miserably in his quest, which made our dear Soph enter the field asking the vendor "Anna oru kal kammal iruka na??" (Brother, do u have a single stone earring??) DV was mumbling under breath "Kammal Sollatha.. it sounds too Feminine".. Lolzzz... i jumped into the fun bit later asking "Anna indha madiri Seconds irukka na"(Brother, do u have such second earrings), pointing to my twice pierced ear lobe... ha ha ha... serious fun, i say...



i dunno who was the odd one out, but we were all thronged by random vendors, "Medaam, buy this buy that.. very cheap in India" like duh, why will i need that Dholak for the love of ermm.. fun!!  and there were these folks who questioned our Nationality... Hey i am a Pachai Tamilachi (green TamGirl, ermm pure Tamilian) and proud about it, okay???

But i should say, we totally triped on clicking and were pointing our cams at random strangers even :P and not to mention at DV every other second, who was being extra narcissistic that day... now i have more clicks of him than the actual subject in my Memory Card...

The arduous photography session was followed by a Gujju dinner at Saravana Bhavan hotel, Rangoli... Should i say that DV behaved like perfect non-flying-species of a certain mammal which is a current sensation and hogged down the Masala Poppadams.. (Mind u,DV, i have photographic proofs :P) it was in an another era that DV also kapaleekaramed Sophzz Bournville bar too... many Aloo parathas, Methi parathas, Mushroom Biriyaanis, Pudhina Batatas, Sweet corn Masalas later, we found it fit to make the Homeward journey...

Actually that was another laugh riot, with me, DV and Soph behaving like completely drunkards and laughing the hell all the way towards Adyar in the auto-rick... the talk included getting into someone's pants, making out on the on the beach and having a guy.. ok i may be exagerrating :-D, Honest!! we were so insane that the auto-driver asked me if we were all some College Students?? Tsk Tsk Tsk... :-D

In the Pic: Me and Soph haggling over DVs stud :-)

Life in a metro aka Namma Ooru Nalla Ooru...

i wrote this last on completing one year stay at Indore... Not that i was in love with the city, but i was intrigued by it very much... it has its own advantages... Indore is still more of a town when compared to our Chennai city.. calling Indore as a city would be so wrong.. yet you can enjoy the city in its own way... you'll be sweating like a swine when you are standing at Saket or Palasia area but just going down a few kilometers to Indrapuri will make you feel a sudden drop in temperature...

yet another major advantage to me at Indore was the lonely Parks... No love birds doing their not-so-secret shenanigans as in our beaches... i could easily sit down with a book, iPod, a pack of chips and no body will care (except for the park security, asking me if i paid my due that month :D)

and Food was a major hit.. i had a wide range to select from without any dread.. other than the Sambar Indori folks didn't bungle up with any other dish.. here i shiver to choose anything other than idlis and dosas at local eat outs... i have to reserve and preplan my dinner if i need some authentic Mugalai stuff (Pssst.. can anyone lemme know where i can get authentic Mugalai biriyani??? i have scourged every eat out at Adyar, Mylapore, Besant Nagar and T Nagar, in VAIN.. i ll even take u out then... please please.. i am on my knees...)

That being said, i should send home the point that i love Chennai... i might have said Madras.. but this city is Chennai since my early memories and i like this better... Chennai is where i spent my college years and as someone said "college days are never over"...

Namma Chennai:
 and it was Chennai Day aka Madras Day last Saturday... so any guesses what all this Rat smitten by Chennai did last weekend??? yup, attended this Photo walk at Mint Street.. and the book worm and music fanatic i am, picked up "Chennai Latte - A Madras Brew" and "Reverberations" in sync with Chennai Pulse.

i had fun walking through the streets of Parrys.. mint street, 7 wells street, Portugal Church Street, Broadway, Armenian Street... and we met people who were camera shy and also people posing eccentric poses to get themselves photographed... Thanks to CC, Vatsan, Tushar, Suraj, Raman, Natrajan, Prithvi and numerous others i forgot to ask the name...

# Beaches, especially the Elliot is the first though that creeps into my non-exsisting brain, when someone yells "Chennai".. mind you, almost daily someone yells this at me... Elliots has seen me crying me alone, walking long with Big B or friends, "kadalai putting" with numerous dates (diff one each time :P) and what not... If u wanna know something about me, go ask those waves... they will tell you stories...

# T Nagar, almost synonymous with Chennai, thanks to the various Saree and Jewelry shopd there... somehow i love this place, inspite of the crowd... you get to meet a gamut of specimens here... and i love picking up trinkets at the roadsides here.. not that i am always in sheer need of these stuff, but i buy them anyways.. there are loads of unaccounted stuff i had got from T Nagar that includes a stuffed sparrow, earrings which i never wear, peacock feathers, wall hangings and ugh, no i stop here!! 

# To me Sambar Sadam is like, water to fish... my college friends used to regale others with my stories of ordering Sambar Sadam at five star restaurants and buffets... and those who say sambar sadam is like bisi-bela-baath can run off, i am here with a shot gun... :-D i am that protective of Sambar Sadam.. till date, i have ate the Besht Sambar Sadam at Hot chips.. Adyar branch to be precise.. damn, i want a plate, like NOW!!

P.S # i started writing this article some time last week planning to publish by Aug 22nd... but health played Dr.Evil and had to postpone n postpone...so dont throw any brick bats if u find this incoherent :P

P.S 2 # i have been nominated for Indiblogger - Blogger of the month, Original Literature... Please go here and vote for me folks... Somebody vote for me too, folks... कोई थो वोट करो यार ... :P தயவு செஞ்சு யாராச்சும் வோட்டு போடுங்களேன்