Autobiography of a Rat..

I am sure that all of us would have gone through, "So where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Whenever I was posed with this question in last 3 years, I itched a lot to say "To smoke weed, get stoned and sing Hare Krishna Hare Ram". But the need of the time or the necessity of the job always made me bite back a smirk and say "Working loyally at your institution and help for the development of the organisation" (Gaaah, Barf bag please)

If you know me, my longest stint at a job was 1 year 6 months (err or something like that.. i am weak in math :P) I am someone who won't stick to a place, job, person for a long time. Ok Malar is an exception here.. This bleddy bugger has stuck with me for past 11 years (that long!!!) and still is my best friend :) But i solely blame this aberration on her. If it was me, i would have run off. But this darling just tracks me down every time and literally threatens my life every bleddy time. Anyways i am digressing.

So where was I? Oh yeah the question. So when i saw people doing what I was 10 years back, I thought, "oi this is interesting. I can now try to remember what I did as a 5 year old." But seriously speaking, apart from drinking milk with both eyes fixated on the mug like a cross-eyed bug (Dad has photographic proof facepalms ), i have no recollection of what happened 20 years ago. Yet I wadded through it and ta-da, my autobiography in a list format. My MBA friends should be proud of me now :-D

20 years ago I . . .
1. Left Kanpur once for all
2. Was struggling to learn Tamil, got frustrated and switched back to Hindi :-P
3. Got my first book, "Thermal and Wind Energy" (Don't ask.. Appa got it for me)

10 years ago I . . .
1. Left Nagercoil and my best friend (Malar, love u girl)
2. Met with an accident and life took a major turn.
3. Left my dreams of becoming a Neurologist and embraced Leather Technology (which i later ditched)

5 years ago I . . .
1. Was in college making myself believe that I will study further
2. Came over my Inferiority complex
3. Came to terms with my childhood and accepted it

3 years ago I . . .
1. Reached my peak success in the corporate world
2. (But) Found my calling and took a major decision of my life (I quit :-P).
3. Returned back to TN.

1 year ago I . . .
1. Quit my 9-5 job
2. Started taking photography assignments professionally
3. Was on the road and on trips more than being at home

So far this year I . . .
1. Have caught up with all friends, i had avoided last year
2. Have went on a weekend trek and had a fab time
3. Have got back my fun schedule on line

Yesterday I . . .
1. Started editing a book
2. Delivered one assignment (on time, phew)
3. Played with a baby on bus

Today I . . .
1. Slept till noon
2. Delivered two assignments
3. will be out for dinner

Tomorrow I will . . .
1. Deliver atleast three of my latest assignments
2. Go out for Baskin Robins Icecream
3. Cook white peas

In the next (coming) year I will . . .
Naah!! Future is not for me to decide... Who knows i may become a hippie and be found on the beaches of Goa... Or become a professional photographer and travel around the world... or go back to the corporate world and start from where i left (yeah right)... Or listen to my parents and live their wishes (hahahahahaha :-D )

Hahaha so that was me... :)

Cancer, Christmas, me and you....

Being someone who had been a science student all through her school days, Cancer was not a new term to me when i first met a cancer patient. She was a relative with Blood cancer. I didn't give her much of a thought.

Then in 2004, a lump appeared in my left breast. A quick check up and the doctor feared it might be a cancerous growth. Many sleepless nights and endless trips to the hospital confirmed it otherwise and it was put down as an arbitrary muscle growth. It got solved by itself.

Last month, Papa called up.. "Can you call amma and talk to her?? she just came out of OT" he said in a worried voice. i was like WTF! what happened. Few calls later, i came to know, there had been a cancerous growth in her breast and she had to be operated given her age. But second opinions and second tests revealed it wasn't malign but just a random duct blockage in her mammary gland.

Anyone in Adyar or crossing Adyar would have seen this building once you cross Madhya kailash signal. If not the building, one would have noticed at-least the many number of people sitting scattered in that area. Well it is the Mohandevi Hirachand Nahar Rajasthani Dharmasala situated in the old Cancer Institute Premises at Canal Bank Road, Adyar, Chennai. Started in August 2000 following a request from the Chennai Cancer Institute, it is run by the Sri Matha Trust handled by five retired and experienced Trustees.

The building accommodates around 100 patients  and provides daily food to the patients and their attendants, free of cost. This includes a breakfast and 2 vegetarian meals along with milk twice a day. The trust folks say that a 1000 rupees feeds one patient for a month.

Now why all this??? Well connecting all the above paragraphs it is only sensible to say, Rat wants to help someone in a big way this time. Save for my random acts of kindness, i never tried to do anything big. May be fear may be laziness. But this time my dear friend Java sowed this seed of though in my mind and i have nothing else running in my mind now.

So this is the scene... # Java, Wired, Idlee and Yours truly have joined hands so that we collect a considerable amount by Dec 22, 2009.. the plan is to celebrate the Christmas by helping the patients there with what-ever money we collect... Even a 100 rupees from each of you will be of a great help. Not in Chennai, never a prob.. With pay-pal accounts, account transfers, checks, all can contribute what ever they wish too.

Thinking of doing something bigger?? always you can drop into the Trust anytime and treat the folks with a meal or a dinner. Any kind of help will be a great gesture... Kindly take some time to check the website...

P.S - Twitter handles given so that you can know, that we are real folks and this is a genuine request...
P.S - Look out for this space in upcoming time.. Meet-ups, Sales where the contributions goto this cause all coming up shortly...

Thanks in advance folks..

A - Z, i am a Professional

I am an Actress, yet still to get a chance...
I am a Baby sitter, with zero-tolerance for babies...
I am a Chef, but rarely enter the Kitchen...
I am a Dentist with scurvy...
I am an Environmentalist who enjoys the earthly comforts of my air-conditioner and fridge...
I am a Fashion Designer, who loves my doggy paw printed pyjamas and warmers...
I am a Green Grocer who thinks potatoes grow on trees...
I am a Hair dresser, who dressed her last clients hair with pretty pink Tutu and stilettos...
I am an IT coder, ASPX, SQL, WTF??
I am a Jockey, frequenting Lingerie shops rather than Race-courses...
I am a Kickboxer who can't raise her leg more than an inch...
I am a Lawyer thriving for the truth, the absolute truth...
I am a Mechanic who lost her tools....
I am a Novelist but the pages keep shuffling by themselves...
I am an Oracle and predict about Yesterday...
I am a Pirate who has yet to see the sea...
I am a Queen's Maid who keeps flirting with the King...
I am a Receptionist who keeps on connecting the every Female callers to my Boss..
I am a Scribe wtih dxcyslxiea, wat-evr....
I am a Therapist who needs a theraphy...
I am an Undercover agent with a hood and Burqa...
I am a Violinist who believes completely in Violence...
I am a Weaver with scissor hands...
I am a Xylophonist but i am phony it that...
I am a Yodeler with a Sore-throat...
I am a Zoologist who prefers her animals on the plate...

I am a RAT who loves trap, Love Traps....

Gullivers Girl or a Female Peter Pan....

When my sister was a kid, Dad got her a set of Fairy tale books... it had books about some bears, Cinderella, Sleeping beauty, Beauty and the Beast and Peter Pan among other things...seriously i don't remember much of that book set... because by then i had moved on to much serious books, given my second book that Dad got me was on Solar energy and Oceans.. First was a Mickey-Donald Comic digest...he he he i have a sharp memory when it comes to books..

Peter Pan was always my favourite character then... no, i never liked the part of Wendy and other Darling kids... i didn't even like the fighting part with Captain Cook or saving Princess Tiger Lily.. it was all too much drama to me... because when my sister was seriously reading Peter Pan and Wendy, i had my head buried into a thick copy of Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens....

i loved the part when Peter flies off to the island to live with other birds... i sat beside Peter by the branches at night when he tried to figure out why he could fly.... i tried to keep him warm and safe , when he used to slip of the branches trying to sleep like a bird...i wanted to help him when he builds a nice nest for a fellow island bird... and when he finally returned to his mother, just to find the windows barricaded and another kid on his place, i literally cried with him... i felt very bad for him....

compared to Peter in Peter Pan and Wendy, this Peter was not vain and full of himself..... he was never rude to the birds and always tried to help the fairies at the Kensington gardens... it was a struggle of a small being to figure why he was different... it was a painful being not able to return to the warmth of his mother....

Wait!!!!!! what am i talking??? this post was not supposed to be a literary review.... ugh oh.... :-D

the fact that i am going on blah blah yada yada about Peter Pan is that, it seems i have been heavily hit by..... ermm, any guesses.... Peter Pan syndrome... no, i can't fly though,yet.. but nevertheless the Peter Pan syndrome indeed....

No.. it is not a Medical disease either... but it seems i cant grow up or get older physically.... my height and weight remains the same for last, i think, 8 years..... my face remains the same, save for an occasional pimple or a scar( *courtesy to the clumsy-cluttering-cool-clutz head, me) and this is the way i am to stay... :-( :-D

i was used to getting comments like "Kids are not allowed" when i was in class 10 (i was taking a diploma course in the local Polytechnic then apart from regular studies) and i was also used to be judged a school kid travelling alone while i was in college.... i even smirked when a new security guard at my previous job tried to stop me entering the office premises, saying "Kids are not allowed"... i used to gloat when people used to exclaim such a small girl doing such a job...

But i was seriously hit when a Fellow blogger and tweet-mate said this..

Gtalk Chat
Muthu: They nice DP, u r looking good...
The Rat: Gee Thanks.. i took this today.. i love taking Rain shots..
Muthu: What?? i tot u had posted a photo from your 5th std class...

*Face Palms*...... sheesh literally... accepted that i can never pass off for the 24 yr old i am.. but 5th Std, what?? do i literally look like a 10 yr old?? *self rhetoric question*.....

and with this Dad wants me to take up Teaching job... just imagine me, a 4' midget with size zero figure, standing in front of a gang of unruly kids and shouting "Children, silence please".... No, i ll rather go jobless rather than taking up that self molestation....

and i seriously can't imagine joining the institution of marriage and being a mother... what would my kids call me, "Sister"??? and even before that, my parents should worry about warding off the NGOs who will be at the gate on my marriage day shouting "Stop this Child Marriage".. and hey, i should be worrying about the prospective guy, the in-numerous match making aunts bring me, shooing me of as the "Girls" kid sister.... Phooey....

i am one of those little people from Gulliver's Travels with a Peter Pan curse on me.....

P.S # he he he.. actually i am enjoying this very much... who wants to get married when i can stay 16 forever, ok stay 10... but nevertheless, i am a KID forever....

Call it wat u may like....

Long time huh... i felt, i may even ditch this place.... all gone for good....then i thought, "aww come on... this is my only connection to the outer world".... yeah u read it right... only connection... well as on the last count i have barred my mobile connection, taking down my orkut account, deleting my 20SB account, quite a few online messaging accounts and yet another social network account, i forgot its name now!!! its just me the anti-social me for next few months....

Why? - because i need this break from the vibrant "Rat"... i had enough partying and socializing for the past 6 years..its a touch down now...

and on the other side, i have just returned from a whirlwind tour of my ancestoral places... my dad and mom'srespective villages, farms, and temples... well u know that from my previos posts....

and i have another trip planned for June first week... not to mention Vasu is gonna be here with me... i am all excited.... we will be meeting after wat 2 years, Vasu??? hmmmm :-)

well this reads like a journal entry.. it sure does... well my bad.. will be back with a real post soon...

till then 'ta...... :-) i am now back to my act of a Tortoise, a Pupae, a Snail or watever... Call it wat u may like...

Angels - Revealed!!!

Seriously speaking, i tot there wud be some chaos due to my last post... but little did i know that all my three darlings will show up pronto and claim d title for themselves... :-D

well not many ppl in my real life know abt my blog avatar... atleast not those who i care abt...my siblings discovered this page very recently and to quote my brother "hey u are incredible"... My parent still dunno though... of my close friends only two know abt Ratzzz as i have nothing to hide from them... Malar and Vasu... Malar or Mallu as i call her has stuck with me since school and thats that...

Talking abt V, we bumped into  each other during college... not the same college though... we became pretty close in no time... the idiot is one big fellow who i turn to wen i need to vent out my pent up anger... the sweet heart listens to my not-so-gentle-abuses with calm face and muttering no-no-rite-stop-no-not-that under his breath... but still will be there when i feel like shouting again... not that this is one sided... wen ever by dear V gets bitten by a love bug i have put up my listening hat and a sober expression... believe me he gets bitten by a bug every weekend.. no don't go looking for a story in his page... thats exclusive for Rat's ears :-P    So My DArling angel this is for u.... i mean this post not a can of Budgweiser...

Then we have Rosh... a doctor by profession, he is a real sweet heart... my best blog buddy so far... he loses no second to make me laugh... i remember being admitted in a hospital and clinging on to my mobile minutes before my operation and laughing loud at his jokes on me... my doctor refused to believe that i was talking to a doctor... :-D i have called him Peacock man, wonder butt and wat not... but he takes it all in his stride and comes back with more lines to laugh at.... a true gem who toushes every heart that he passes by... trust me he didnt pay me anything to say this... ok pass that box of chocolates here... and his love for his pet dog Ruby is... well ermm... laughable??? :-P Ratzzz Loves u ROSH... Love with a capital L ,mind it... u are my DArling angel..

and my final DAring angel... d one and only Nachiketa.... seems he gets pissed of if he is called Nachikets.... well... NACHIKETS NACHIKETS NACHIKETS.. :-P muaha ha ha ha ha.... Kats as usually i call him has a Cat too... My official punch bag now , Nachi is never found sans a funny bone or two... go to him with your deepest of worries and u ll leave laughing out loud and forgetting why u went to him first of all... ping him to pick a bone and u ll be rolling in floor forgetting all ur fight... Getting high on Nachiness is unavoidable i say.... his love for straw hats, multicolored socks and knocking things from old flames is no new story... ooPs i blurted out more than i shud :-P Nachileria is highly contagious.. BEware... :-x Muah dear... u are my DArling angel..... :-)

ahhh... and Doc... d Devil was an angel too, remember??? :-)

You are my DArling angel!!!

The Pink orchid has scored a century.. and we all know how gracious she is in giving away awards... so this being a great occassio she has bestowed upon me a couple of awards including "I 'm coz u r" ,"Thanks for ur cmments" , " Blogger Dudette" and "You are my guardian angel" /i am using an ancient laptop and a dial up modem. sorry for not actually displaying the awards , Kajal... /

Thinking abt guardian angel something struck me... who is mine? One who has stuck thru with me thru all pinks and blues... One ho knows me indside out... no i am not talking abt blink-and-i-vanish-friends-for-a-while... The One who is there for me and d one who searches for me in every crowd everytime to laugh or cry....

Ah game time.. that Idiot is here in Blogsville alright and he frequents me too... Obviously being a best friend if he doesnt know abt my blog or if ditches my blog avatar then he is doomed for sure... :-) so hey Guessing game anyone??? i am hitting d sack now and allowing him to show up himself... well if he doesnt he ll get his head flattened wen i meet him next.. :-D

signing off for now... HEy u are my DArling Angel...

Unrequited Love

Visual D I A R R H O E A by =mirchiz on deviantART

And the Nightmares are back... i reallythought she had left me for good, then... i think i was wrong... i run and run amok.. they still chase me like there is no tommorow...i flee to escape... but the impetus is so hard that it pushes me over the edge...


my cerebellum is crammed that i can think no more.. every platelet of mine spells thy name... the pain that hammers me is huge and bears me down when ever i move... i am reduced to that of an old man who wills to lie down and crumble..


Born will be I, with more strength and power... 'cause to overcome your love is my goal now... you broke my heart no matter what... but i will be back like the light after night...


but who am i fooling... no wonder even when i travel across seven lands, your love looks upon me like death... i don't want to bear your love and live till i age and wither off... let me be crucified... for you and millions of other unrequited love...
__________________________________________________________________________________

i wrote the above piece in a guyzzz perspective... Today morning R sent me the above animation... he is a great artist and i love his work. he claimed that he did this one in complete whim... but it kindered so much in me as i could see loads and loads of symbolism... Hope i did justice to his art... you can find more of his work here....

The Girl i knew...

D Girl i knew is no more... i tried hard to find her, all in vain.. but i am happy she is dead.. i didnt like her anyways....

i chanced upon some old birthday pics of my dear sister... D Girl was there in a couple of pics... she had d most awful expression... she was jealous of my darling sistaah... she didnt even smile i those pics... i am happy she is dead.. i didnt like her anyways....

Daddy showed me some videos... D girl was there all d time... she was sitting under a tree doing nothin.. she didnt try to help my Mom who was gardening... she didnt even budge wen mamma came toppling down from a hoist... i am happy she is dead.. i didnt like her anyways....

i went thru some old albums stored at my place... D girl was there again... she wore the most awful clothes in gaudy colors... it was so shapeless and disgusting... her hair lay limp with all those oil.... i am happy she is dead.. i didnt like her anyways....

Some relatives were recollecting old memories over coffee the other day... of course about her.. they said she never smiled or laughed out loud... OH! i am happy she is dead.. i didnt like her anyways....

Oh.. am i so happy... but wat i miss is her "Go figure attitude".. her might to climb any trees or walls before u blinked... her riotious life of being free and livin in her own world... but she is long dead... i didnt like her anyways...

So bye-bye D Girl i knew.. all tht is left is D Rat, who lives in d world of words rather than anything otherwise...

D Girl i knew died 7 years back and now is known as D Rat by all who know her...

I am happy she is dead.. i DIDNT lke her anyways

disasters....

Ouch Ouch and big ouch.....

i meant to say bye bye to my job in my last post.. not to blogsville baba... but yeah don't get angry on me if i dont comment on ur pages.. believe me i am sitting here, in invisible mode and reading each post of urs in my feed reader but as my friend SA says i have gone into my shell for past 3 days and am not able to face ppl... both physically and virtually.. i ll be back to myself in some time but i need this one week to tie up any loose ends, pack my bags and go back to Tamil Nadu.. thats gonna be big step coz i am out of home for some 6 yrs now... Lame me, am questioning myself that how i am gonna control my free spirit .. lets c...

Second Ouch is that disquz thing that has taken over my comments column... i am seriously fightiong that demon to leave my page....

lll be back soon ppl... until then c ya...


P.S # Abhi of Furobiker ll be doing a combined post with me... he won the d quiz as apart from him no one else bothered to send me the answers.. i am hurt!!!

bye bye ...

Moving on....

Feels Hard but have to....

Friends for life, or so i tot!

Zahir, in Arabic, means visible, present, incapable of going unnoticed. It is someone or something which, once we have come into contact with them or it, gradually occupies our every thought, until we can think of nothing else. This can be considered either a state of holiness or of madness.

FAUBOURG SAINT-PÈRES
Encyclopaedia of the Fantastic (1953)

if u had been on my blog earlier, u wud be familiar with some of my habits... of the list, the very first one has always seen me wishing only one thing over the last 10 years.. then over time, D Rat went thru an inevitable transformation... and i tot i had overcome that wish... last week i saw a Red vail man admist heavy traffic... i was returning from office tired and heavily sleepy headed... and in that trance i found my self crossing my fingers and saying "i wish i would be with him again"...

Him - My Zahir - who slowly entered my life like a mist on one early morning.. he slowly spread out his limbs and presence all over my life... he over took my entire self.. he broke the spell arnd me... he helped me spread out my wings... he made me float in cloud nine.. and then one fine day the mist just faded away.... instead of bright sunlight that warms d day wen the mist vanishes, it is just gloom, dark and despair that surrounds me after this mists departure....

My Zahir - the person i never talk abt..not because i get hurt wen i do so but because i keep him closer to my heart and don't want anyone to know this part of my life.. My Zahir who is the real life Karna for me and the person who kept on popping in my mind while i am reading this transcripts of Mahabharatha and Karna Puran...

My Zahir - is no boy friend of mine, like everybody, including our respective parents, believes... but he is my life and responsible of most things i am today... will u be stunned if i say this Rat was an introvert once and down with Inferiority complex... then wat ll be ur reaction wen i say my Zahir was the reason i learnt to respect myself...

He is my first cousin on my Papa's side... His parents eloped to get married and he never got around to know his papa as uncle passed away in an accident soon after Zahir came to this world... he was everything Karna was, righteous in his own way, helping out everyone and severely simple... his love for me was more than Karna's love for Duryodhana...

he broke a great rapport with a friend just becoz that person hurt me... he was angry with his mom just because she said something against me... he went to world's end to see me smile... he did everything to make me happy...

and one day he left me... not just me.. he cut off his relation with anyone and everyone who mattered to him... to this day i have never been to single out a reason why he did so.. i pinned for him, yearned for him and slowly he occupied my each passing moment... my each second was filled with wat if he had been by my side... i tried to reach him out thru every way i cud... and then i accepted defeat... i left him at his seclusion...

i know he is around somewr thinking of me, atleast once in a year...i know, i have not done enuf justice to this post dedicated to him.. but i just cudnt bring myself to write more... nor cud i compare him Karna like i wanted to, coz he is special in his own way...

but my only wish is that i want to meet him atleast once in future... one meet that's all i ask.. nothing more nothing less...

P.S # 1 :Vasu, save ur smart ass comments for some other post.. and don't u pass this on to him...

P.S # 2 : i need a partner for my next post... i tot of sending an open request... then i tot , lets make it interesting... mail d answers of the following questions to me.... the first person to get all the answers rite gets to do the next post...

1. Who built the Magical Palace for the Pandavas?

2. Who was Karna's charioteer?

3. Who is Gadothkaja's Mother?

4. Dhritarashtra is accompanied by 2 woman when he leaves for the forest after the great war. Name them..

and finally...

5. Who are Parikshit's parents?

adios until next...

It feels good...

- when ur hair is soft and silky.. u just can't keep that damn comb off and keep on running it to thru ur hair

- to wear a Tee made of real soft fabric that clings onto u, like a next skin.... wat more it campaigns against "Global Warming"

- wen u emerge out of a no-win situation, unscathed and untouched.. :-)


- to u find the person who hears u out, talking wat-so-ever nonsense... thank you, u-know-who... :-)

Miles to go before i sleep...

...as seen written at the back of a walking-impaired person's motor fitted chair...

one of the moments wr i seriously missed my camera... the guy was cruising along in lethal traffic of my city.. u wanna get stunned, hear this...

he gave a lift to an able-bodied 20 something guy as he had heavy luggage... (thanks anon)

U think , u can beat this... i don't think so...


Psst # somehow i am disturbed by the grammar of the third sentence in this post... help!!!

edited to add: changed... thanks anon..

The Rat...

Desires...

Need of the Hour :  a break from Job... a close friend's shoulder... beach side walk... Mom's lap... Home made food... a WORRY FREE DAY!!!!!!

The Rat...

its just a phase....

or so do i hope....

No Don't ask.. i am not yet ready to talk out anything.. DAmn it!! i am not even sure wats worrying me... i am not able to point my finger at anything yet...

d Rat : Wen u are undergoing an emotional trauma, even the honest-of-honest responses seems to be conceited,rite?
R : From wat i can read, something is worrying for past 4-5 days and u just wanna run away from it...

this is something i said and heard abt my present situation and it sums up neatly... Dingbats!!! i am not able settle down.. i am wearing this mask with up-turned lips.. but i am no wr even near to a genuine smile... i am so false that i am not even true to myself...
Hot choc, Hug, Warm Massage.. nothing nothing seems to work... even music is failing me... darn it!! i feel sick at heart.. food ain't helping either...
i am not going thru any heart burn (wait let me check if there is one!!) none said anything harsh to me... i got involved in no fight... none hurt me physically or emotionally... yet i am rotting here and irritated to the teeth...

i feel like bursting outta my shell.. but wr is the shell, i don't know....

wat do i do wen i got nothing to do

wat do i do wen life says me to!!!

The Rat...

Damn IT!!!!

I need NO motivation!!

all i need is a big bear hug and a warm ...... cup of Hot Chocolate...

The Rat...

This Valentine Day!!!

Girls Girls Girls!!!! How many times have i warned to be abt this vile tribe called MCPs... Now u have to come running to me, holding the hem of ur skirts and tears streaming down ur rosy red cheeks... u poor things... come here.. first let me give u a warm hug...
Lets talk abt the ex-lames first... oops, my bad, i meant ex-flames... u fell in love with this guy, fine... u has an issue,fine..d guy broke off the relation, fine... now u are longing for him,i understand, very fine... but now the guy asks u out on a wake of V day and u say yes, NO... NOT AT ALL FINE!!!
get off with it girls!! he left u... accept that... now he is just trying to get back as the loser has no date for his valentine weekend.. the dimwit knows u damn well that u wont say a no to him... but lets differ.. come on girls show tenga to this tribe, now!!!

and yeah... go here to show tenga to Muthalik and his kind... i hitting the pub no matter wat this saturday... and if i cud help a hot hunk in tow!! i am gonna show up in a noodle strap top, definitely in my best Levi's and practice all my raunchy dance steps... let anyone just have the guts to touch me or marry me to the guy i am with...

Ouch u have 4 more days to go!!!
The Rat...

Wats this thing called love???

So!!!

So wat if i am spending my days grinning endlessly?
So wat if there is an added jump in my walk??
So wat if my appetite is back to normal from abyss???

So wat ? So wat?? So wat??? :-)

You know why??? i am in love.. total love.. Eternal love

totally love with ... (Drum Rolls) ARR..

Jai ho!!! Jai HO!! Kaala Kaala Kajal tera , koi kaala jhaadu ....

P.S. # 1 : Rush over to Coffee and Stories... i helped DV put up the current Template... contact me for customized templates :-) am thinking of taking this up as a part time job.. absolute free for Bloggers who follow me :-D i know i know i am that cheap...

 P.S # 2 : Shh.. Ward off Sandoz and Deep... this post is not for u guys to say d Rat is lonely, coz i am not ...

P.S # 3 : Guys.... Deep asked me this question "wat do u mean by love, if u ever loved some1 then u know d meaning also. tell me ur opinion i m waiting for ur answer?"  answer me ppl... ll put together a post on that later...
 

words tumbling out...

i stand at a threshold.. insecure and frightened... my heart had its own questions.. but i find it hard to get d right answers... i have nowhere to go... hope i get a direction..

yday i felt like flying.. but now i find my wings broken.. last month i had set my destination.. but now the road is blocked... i have nowhere to go... hope i get a direction..

the dusk is beautiful..but there follows a dangerous black...the lake looks like melted gold... but its depth darks out me... i have nowhere to go... hope i get a direction..

i wanna fly.. fly high..above the sky...
give back my wings.. remove the trunk from the road..
let it dawn and i will settle for the dreary grey instead of gold!!!


P.S    # started typing watever that cane to my mind... :D
P.S 2 #  The Pink orchid has conferred me an award.. i am all gushing and blushing.. Thanks Girl